When we first realize it’s a triplet pregnancy, my hubby’s face turns as white as sheet and instead of feeling happy, tons of emotion and thoughts went through my mind.
- Am I able to carry all 3 babies to full-term?
- Will they be healthy?
- Am I able to go through the tough pregnancy?
And we are the only couple who left the consultation room with worrisome expression…
My pregnancy journey is full of ups and downs. Beside the torments of deciding whether to opt for selective reduction, I suffered greatly from severe morning sickness and was hospitalized for drip. It’s like the darkest days of my life, with 80% of the time resting on bed, unable to function normally (like surfing the web or watching TV) as I was so weak. What a beginning. Certainly very disheartening. There were multiple times I expressed feeling of regrets of getting pregnant to my hubby and the medical staff. I felt like crying but was so weak even to cry. I could only sleep to overcome the physical and mental torture. Fortunately my condition improved upon the 2nd trimester…but…
For the full story of my pregnancy ups and downs, click here.
Ok, since the purpose of this post is to encourage those who are also going through difficult pregnancy, I’m gonna leave the ups and downs aside and talk about how we walk through this tough phrase of life to carry the triplets till 30 over weeks.
You may notice that I always use “we” instead of “I”, that’s because pregnancy doesn’t only involve the mummy, but the daddy as well. So here are 10 tips on how to overcome a tough pregnancy…
1) ACCEPT YOUR FATE
I used to be a regional marketer. Traveling, leading an exciting and hectic career life was so ME. It was like my identity source, where I drew most of my self-esteem, self-worth, and pride. Prior to my pregnancy, I was a full-time MBA student / real estate agent / ecommerce entrepreneur / model. As you can see, I always packed my life with excitement and tons of challenges. Just when I was about to expand my ecommerce business, my world was suddenly changed upon pregnancy.
I was confined to bed rest. Friends started to ask where am I, why I’ve not being updating my Facebook status, etc etc. But I couldn’t even reply them. I was so so so weak. It’s like… the clock stop ticking. Roger had to rush home during lunch time, but I vomited most of the time…sign…I was so depressed…
After several weeks, it was only when Roger read a very meaningful article to me, about a triplet mom who overcomes her pregnancy blues by accepting the role of a “patient”, with the only goal of nurturing the babies in her, so as to prepare them for the best when they are born. I can’t recall which book was it, but it certainly changes my view.
Let go of the past, accept the fate.
Accept the role of a patient, and have sufficient rest.
You have only 1 goal now, to nurture the babies in you.
So what if you can’t mop the floor, continue your job or go for your usual outdoor activities? Forget it! The most important task now is “pregnancy”!!!
2) TALK TO OTHER TRIPLETS MOM, YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Singapore is a very small country with barely 5 million population so you can imagine the lack of support network for triplets moms here. Fortunately, there’s a triplet mom staying in my mom’s block and when I visited my mom during the weekend, I happened to see her at the void deck. Upon introducing myself, she was very helpful and we exchanged mobile numbers. Although she’s very busy juggling with her 2 yrs old triplets boys, she SMS from time to time to encourage me. This little gesture is so powerful it keeps me going on and on.
Subsequently, we did some research and found a multiples support group. The constant exchange of advice, resources, emailers, reminded us that there are many struggling couples like us out there, and we are not alone.
3) SUBSCRIBE “DISCOVERY HOME & HEALTH”
There are so many programs featuring successful multiples birth and tips on parenting multiples, we felt so normal after watching them, so please subscribe, you are not alone, there are many triplets families out there who are doing fine.
4) WATCH “JON & KATE PLUS 8″
This is such a motivating program about a couple with a set of twins and sextuplets!!! If you think your pregnancy is tough, then please watch this video. Their program are mostly aired on Discovery Home & Health, and TLC.
5) BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DO IT
It’s very important to stay positive and believe that you can do it. It is where you’ll draw your strength from. If you’re a Christian… believe that “God will not put you through more than you can withstand”. Since He has planned the triplet pregnancy for you (1 out of 8000), He will surely pull you through. Pray and let Him guide you. The pain or discomfort will pass soon.
6) LEAVE THE READINGS TO YOUR HUBBY
Most of the books or articles on multiples are pretty factual and the more you read, the more worry you’ll be. The statistics towards triplets pregnancies are not that rosy and encouraging. But not all multiple pregnancies are the same. These statistics only serve as a guideline but that doesn’t mean you’ll be one of them. Let your loving hubby read all those stuff and filter out before transmitting to you. It’s less negative when factual stuff are heard in the most loving and caring tone from your hubby.
Here are a few books we recommended:
7) WHEN YOU’RE READY, LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW
Believe me, you will be more than surprise to receive warm concerns and request for visitation from friends you didn’t expect. Friends whom I’ve not met for years, initiate to visit me when I’m confined to bed rest. Acquaintances and ex-colleagues leave sweet and caring messages on facebook. All these are very crucial to help you through the last stretch to home ground.
8 ) SETUP THE NURSERY AND BUY BABY STUFF
Nothing can be more impactful than visual encouragement. I understand you may not dare to buy baby stuff initially so as to avoid disappointment if the pregnancy ends prematurely, but once you think you’re ready (maybe in the 2nd trimester), start planning and setup the nursery to mentally encourage you that this is real, you’ll have 3 babies soon. Whenever you’re discouraged or sad, pop into the nursery for that boost of motivation. Tell yourself you can fill up this room with babies and you can do it.
Imagine how you will play with them, how you will discipline them or feed them, etc. Imagine how they’ll look, will they resemble your hubby’s features or yours? Will they have the same characters as you? How would you dress them up? Do you prefer the same colour dressing for all 3? LOL, it always bring a smile to my face whenever I think of the future.
9) NAME YOUR BABIES AND ADDRESS THEM INDIVIDUALLY
When you’re ready, name your babies instead of calling them baby ABC or 123. Talk to them and gently massage your tummy whenever they kick…”Asher, mummy loves you”, “Oh Brayden, you’re so naughty today”, “Little Charlotte, you’re having hiccups?”
Strangely, there’s a bonding between mom and babies even before they’re born. I have tried it a few times and it works miraculously. For example, baby C was quite tiny as compared to her 2 brothers so I encourage her to grow more and be strong, within 2 weeks, she overshoot her brothers. WOW!
10) START A BLOG
The best strategy to shut off negative thoughts is to occupied yourself with something more meaningful. If you’re on bed rest most of the time, place a laptop on a bed tray and start blogging. Share your experiences with others. Who knows, your words may change the fate of another lady across the globe.
Hope you’re feeling more positive now Share this article with those in need of encouragement. If you have some more tips to share, do leave a comment. Cheers!