Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Kids have feelings too. They are learning to grow into good adults. They scream and cry while they test your limits and find out what's alright and what's not right; just like how they stumble and fall while learning to walk. They are not dogs, thus you can't train them like how you train your pups. Without respect, acceptance and love, they grew into rebellious toddlers, which is a natural reaction to your constant nagging and yelling.
I realize it through bathing them one day. I stopped yelling and talked nicely to them instead. Surprisingly, they stopped misbehaving and started to cooperate. Then I tried playing games and telling stories before meals and they finished their dishes willingly too.
Forcing and threatening won't go far. Good behavior and well manners should come directly from the children's heart.